A Spring Clean for Your Mindset
Do you ever take your car in for a service, perhaps for some routine maintenance, but also for the technician to scan for any lurking problems you don’t know about?
In the same way, do you ever take the time to evaluate your thinking or stress test your beliefs to see if they stack up and are still valid?
A Proactive Approach
What’s a limiting belief costing you?
Perhaps a career change? Maybe a new business venture?
Like a car scan. You don’t know what you don’t know.
You can diagnose problems before they’re an issue. Preventing a breakdown when you least need it.
So while there is an upfront cost of time and money, checking your car and fixing any problems. You can proceed with confidence.
I’ll say again.
You can proceed with confidence.
That’s an amazing benefit. So imagine that. In business. In Life. In your career, proceeding with confidence.
Trust Your Beliefs
How do we do this?
Yes, we can strengthen positive beliefs based on truth and facts. But we can also stress test and scan for irrational beliefs.
If you discover you have irrational beliefs. In one sense that’s great! You’ve discovered something that’s holding you back. You now have a choice to be better. To do something about it, and ‘spring clean’ it.
The good news is. There are 14 common irrational beliefs for you to ‘stress test’ and check against.
These 14 irrational beliefs are behind common dysfunctional behaviour and attitudes, as identified by Albert Ellis over 35 years.
I’ll add to this resource over time. But will start with the ones that stand out for me.
The Top Irrational Beliefs Limiting Your Growth
Starting with the most stand out ones, that resonated with me.
One: I Need Everyone to Approve of Me
Why do people compromise their own sincerity, integrity and authenticity to please other people?
It’s usually because they believe their opinions, needs, thoughts and whole identity isn’t good enough.
Think about that for a minute. Beliefs of low self worth holding you back.
These beliefs usually stem from a background of abuse or neglect. This rejection has led them to desire approval, regardless of its legitimacy.
Does this sound like you? Maybe even in some way, or with certain people?
On the other side of the equation, It’s incredibly hard to trust people who say yes out of fear than then from a place of authenticity.
I’d also suggest that we as humans have been brought up in a people pleasing environment and conditioned to people pleasing. You think about it, as children we are rewarded by parents for staying quiet or ‘doing the right thing’. At work we are rewarded for ‘pleasing the boss’ etc. In relationships we are rewarded for pleasing our partners needs.
The point here is about the conditioning effect of it. And if you are not mindful of who and when you are people pleasing – then perhaps it will become a default behaviour for you that you do automatically with out thinking. Perhaps to your own detriment.
The good news is, by being mindfully aware of people pleasing – and the new belief that you don’t need to seek the approval of everyone, you can choose differently.
If you are a people pleaser what can you do?
What Can You Do:
- Live mindfully through your day. Catch yourself ‘people pleasing’.
- Evaluate why – “Am I compromising my values, tastes, beliefs / character in some way?” Why?
- What void or feeling am I trying to fill by ‘people pleasing’?
- What would happen if I chose differently?
- What would it mean if my self worth and happiness were not tied to ‘pleasing this person’?
Use these questions as starting points to disrupt your thinking about this belief.
Remember, this is regarding ‘people pleasing’ everyone. At work and in your relationships there are mutual benefits (and obligations) of ‘pleasing’. Use your common sense here, and be sure to understand the difference.
Two: I must succeed in everything I do to be valuable